Monday, 23 November 2009

Fraggle rocks....

Hugh Fernley Wittingstall says "If you're tired of British teatime, you're tired of life." I'm still in love with afternoon tea but I am tired. I've had a bad sleep weekend and, after two years of insomnia, I've taken my first afternoon off. I'm trying acupuncture at the moment and had my first session last Friday. Friday night I had one of the worst nights I've had for a long time. The acupunctrist warned me this could happen and I should see it as a good thing as it means it's tapped in to the correct part of my brain.

It's hard to describe the impact lack of sleep has on you. It's not the tiredness...I've grow used to that (I've aged about ten years in the last twelve months!) It's the emotional impact it has on you. I've tried my best not to over exaggerate it but I've reached a point of despair. You lie in bed (or on the sofa/spare bed/hallway where ever really) and you feel as if you're the only person left awake in the world. I can't even imagine now what it must be like to lie down in bed and to fall asleep. Bliss.

So I'm at home this afternoon. Sitting on the sofa wondering if tonight will be a good night or a bad night? Will I be asleep at 1130pm or 5am? Will I stay awake all night listening to the sound of the fridge or getting annoyed with how loud my heart beats as I get more and more wound up. Will I miraculously fall asleep straight away only to be woken up 5 minutes later by a car beeping its horn sentencing me to another night awake? But also remembering that it's just insomnia. It's just staying awake. It's not worrying about whether a loved one will come home from Afghanistan or the fear of a friend worrying her cancer has returned.

One of the exercises a hypnotherapist taught me (that didn't work either!!) is to picture a happy place. My happy place is on Scilly on a warm summers day. I'm back at a time in my life where I spent my summer making cakes for the Fraggle Rock cafe. I made rock buns all the time because they taste yummy and can be made in about 5 minutes. Now the smell of cinnamon and burnt orange is wafting around my kitchen and I'm feeling a little more relaxed.........

Fraggle Rock Buns....

8oz self raising flour
1tsp mixed spice
2 eggs
3oz caster sugar
5oz mixed fruit
3oz butter

Put the flour and the mixed spice into a bowl and rub in the butter. Once it looks like a crumble mix. Add the eggs and sugar and mix with your hands until it looks a bit like a dough.

Preheat the oven to 160C/325F/gas mark 3 and line two small baking trays. Spoon rough teapoons on to the baking trays. Bake in the oven for ten to fifteen minutes and serve with butter.


  1. Yummy buns!
    My sympathy Issy re your insomnia and fingers crossed for some good sleep. I also struggle with it and find I can slowly coax sleep back bit by bit over several months, and then a set back, and I start again, bit by bit. But there is good progress for me and I am sure there will be for you. (I often get 6 hours straight now). Fingers crossed re acupuncture!

  2. They sound delicious.

    I have spells of insomnia and I completely understand your pain. I've also just started acupuncture and my sleeping has been gradually improving over the last 5 weeks so I have my fingers crossed for you!

  3. Thank you for your kind comments and emails! I think you can't really understand it until you have been through it.

    Thanks for the comments about the acupuncture....I hope it will be a success for me too! xxxx